There is No Try

He wasn't any different from most of the others.  Yes, he put in some effort.  At times, a commendable amount of effort.  But things never worked out for him.  He was convinced that some sort of familial cosmic karma backlash was hitting his life hard.  That's what crappy parents get you, he'd think.

And yet its people like him who really just have little understanding of what it is to work at something.  What it is to get expert or really, really good.  Its not enough to put in some effort.  That get's you nowhere, as it had gotten him.  To succeed at many things, it take an almost unconscionable amount of effort.  Focus.  And determination.  Much of which is laudable, but some of which is downright scary.  Psychotic almost.  But that level of commitment often leads to the desired successful outcomes.

He started seeing things in his own son at an early age that indicated that his boy was different.  He just might be going places.  And he was both thrilled and annoyed.  Not nearly as happy for him as he often should have been.  And always from the pathetic vantage point of self-pity.  Those good things could have come my way.  They didn't and over the years the bitterness and resent grew to the point that he and his son didn't spend much time together anymore.  Despite the lip service to the importance of family, somehow the reality of obviously different life outcomes became unbearable.

It also had put a terrible strain on his marriage. . . .